Day 36 - The first step in the "spiritual discipline" is the cleansing of the speech. Talk sweet without anger. Do not boast of your scholarship or attainments. Be humble, eager to serve; conserve your speech. Practice silence. That will save you from squabbles, frittering thoughts and faction.
Before you speak, think - Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone? Will it improve on the silence?
It seems like the above is too much to do before we speak, for it is so easy to just open our mouth and just let whatever wants to come out, come out. But how often have we hurt anyone or made anyone uncomfortable by what comes out of our mouth?
There is a young couple who seems to care a lot about each other. But one day the guy called his mom and told her that his relationship is hard because his girlfriend always scream at him. To which the mom was almost shock (were they not best friends for years before they got involve in a relationship?) Mom asked how often is this screamfest? EVERYDAY. To which the mom told her son, no one deserve to be screamed at. You should not allow anyone to scream at you. To which mom said why do you allow it? Son replied "she just does". Mom said "then, you must end it". To which son said "I can't, she will kill me". What???
How is it possible that 2 people who cared so much about each other end up in such a situation? Granted she must have some challenges at home, screaming is probably a way of venting. But, why not talk sweet without anger? Why not be humble, eager to serve; conserve speech; practice silence. That will save anyone from squabbles, frittering thoughts and faction.
Before you speak, think - Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone? Will it improve on the silence? But nooooo. We just scream because it feels good. Is it necessary to scream? nooo. Will our screaming hurt anyone? it always does, in one way or another. Will screaming improve on the silence? Of course not. Screaming causes noise pollution.
Let's just do some analysis. Let us say that the guy grew up in a household where the father always scream. Since the mom practice non-violence, the father was never stopped from the screaming habit. And the boy grew up to be a man, hating the father (or his screaming ways). That being the case, that screaming idea is always in the back of his mind. So, if and when he accepted his father for who he is (a screamer) and forgive him and forgive himself, the vicious cycle ends right there and then. But since, he hated his old man's ways, "what he resist, persist". So that screaming has to manifest through the girlfriend. Love is the answer. If they truly care about each other, they have to be willing to change - for the better.
Both of them have to realized that their first step in the "spiritual discipline" is the cleansing of the speech. Then, they have to learn to talk sweet without anger. And they have to be constantly aware of their love for each other and that love should not hurt, and anything that hurt or that is uncomfortable should be remedied at once. Love is easy, love is sweet, love is good, love is comfortable, Love is kind and screaming is not kind.
Love is all. And so it is.
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