DIVINITY WITHIN - DAY 34 of 108 days - " Friendship is the expression of unshakable LOVE, LOVE that is noble, pure, free from desire or egoism."

Day 34 - All good relationship should be based on friendship. Once I was told that to be a good lover, you have to be a good friend first. Why then when lovers separate or go their separate ways, it seldom ends amicably? If it was base on friendship first, should that friendship last no matter what? And if friendship is the expression of unshakable love, why then taint it with desire and turn it into a physical relationship?

" Friendship is the expression of unshakable LOVE, LOVE that is noble, pure, free from desire or egoism."

I was at the car shop having my car serviced and there was this guy with a face like the ones depicted in the mayan artifacts with a perfectly triangular nose and he has a salt and pepper hair that is a bit curly on top and the side and extra long, long in the back all the way to his waist. As we were both waiting, and we started talking I mentioned that I was hungry coz' I have not had breakfast yet. And he casually said that since they are still waiting for the parts for his car, he can take me to a restaurant so I can have breakfast. And so we did had breakfast at a Mexican place - chile relleno and rice and beans and guacamole.

We talked about so many things and we just keep on laughing about things and it feels like we were old friends. And for the next few weeks, he seems to call me whenever I was feeling down and casually asked if I want to have brunch and when whenever my response was that I don't feel like going out, he will just nudge me a bit saying that it will do me good to go out and get some fresh air. He doesn't even make as much as all the other friends I know and yet, not once has he allowed me to pay for anything. He always say "Save your money for your son, my kids are all grown up". And he can say the meanest thing in the nicest way. Like if I tell him how good or smart I am and that I know I am beautiful inside and out, he will just blurt out that yes, I am really that ugly and when I pretend to be shock, he will say that he knows that I know that he knows I am beautiful inside and out. And we will just both laugh out loud. Right off the bat, he just say he loves me and misses me etc. etc. and I just accept it because it feels like it is pure and free from desire or egoism. If anyone else will tell me that on a first date or even the second time we meet, I will right away brush it off or deliver a lecture on "uttering words that we really mean" and by using it in a casual context, it loses its meaning or that 'your word is your bond - I will hold you to it'.

Anyways, after having brunch with him the fourth times, he casually said that he has been thinking of me and nothing else ever since he met me and that not once has he thought of anything negative. I would guess that since I have been venting on guys who wants nothing but sex, when he says negative, he means nothing dirty. Okay, sex is not dirty if put in the right perspective. So, it is quite a change when someone can just be friend - no pressure, no condition, no pretenses, no limitation on how to act or not to act, to impress or not to impress. Just be.

Another thing that comes to mind is the friendship that is establish between a parent and a child. Once we establish the boundaries of parenting, when the time comes that your child needed a friend, you become that friend - with unshakable love, love that is noble, pure, free from desire or egoism. Just thinking about it, makes my eyes water for it brought back so many memories of when as a mother I get very upset that my son is not performing his duties and yet when the phone rings at 9:30 p.m. and he is on the other line in Champaign, IL while I am in Palm Beach (working as usual) and he informed me that his girlfriend broke up with him, I have to be his friend whose shoulder he can cry on. I have to switched right there and then from being an upset mother to a friend who is there for him no matter what, a friend who is ready to listen, just listen without offering or suggesting a solution or ideas - for that is all he needed at the time, just a friend who will listen. I remember many nights when he called and tell me that one of his friend had a problem and they needed someone other than their mother/father who will just listen and just say some words of wisdom to alleviate their pain at the moment. And so, as soon as he put the friend on the phone, I have to switch from being Jay's mom, to just a friend who is there to listen.

What about our relationship with our siblings? When does being a sibling switch to just being a friend - many times, I tell you. You will know it because, there are things you cannot tell your siblings but you can tell a friend. When you start telling your siblings what you used to talk about only to your friends, you have switched. For most of the times, the things you do with siblings are those you somehow believe is your duty base on blood relation. But remember "Love without duty is divine". You learn to love your siblings and be their friends and stop doing things because it is your duty as their siblings.

Yes, indeed. I know what is friendship as the expression of unshakable Love, Love that is noble, pure, free from desire or egoism. And for that experience, INFINITE LOVE AND GRATITUDE ALWAYS.

Be Well, and so it is.