DIVINITY WITHIN - Day 16 of 108 Days - "The treasure that is precious is the quality of even mindedness in all situations"

Day 16 - The treasure that is precious is the quality of even mindedness in all situations - I want that treasure. It seems that I have some of it but not a lot. And most of the times I can dig into the treasure and use it and enjoy it and then at times, when I needed it most it is gone - where did it go?

"The treasure that is precious is the quality of even mindedness in all situations".

If I am going to try and dissect the above, first there is the treasure, then there is precious treasure and of the precious treasure, there is a quality involve. And the one I want is the quality of even mindedness in ALL situations - that is the precious I want, indeed. And at this stage, it seems that I have to hone my skill for that even mindedness in ALL situations.

I thought about this and I was going to write about " the joy of being the master of senses " and I already wrote the title and the fonts and colors and then as I wrote day 16, I just started typing about the treasure... And I seem to remember I already wrote about equanimity. So I went back and found it on day 7. My first reaction is why write about it again, it would be the same thing and yet what stands out is the word "quality" and "all situations".

On day 7, I wrote on how I can practice and experience EQUANIMITY. I even wrote that I know that the emotions brought back by past experiences may come back and affect me but I already have the tools. And I am ready to put the tools into good use.

And so it is - Today, I have to put the "tools" to good use. I was in the basement and was folding the blankets that I washed when my angel came and with a raised voice and anger that was meant to check and see if I will put the "tools" to good use. I use part of it, but the reason for the anger seems unreasonable that out of old habit, I tried to reason out and then I realized, it is of no use to reason out with someone who cannot see reason so I just let it go. I called another angel to sort of vent and soon we were both laughing.

Then, as time passed by, I felt like it is day 7 again and I have to ace this test otherwise I will have to take it again and again until I perfected the process. Well (wishing well), I have to take it again because I let my emotion take over and the tears started to fall. WHY oh WHY? SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS SOS.

I became attached to the body. A plate of shit was offered to me and if I refused to accept it, then the giver will be the one to stink but I accepted it later on and the shit started to stink that caused the emotion to well up and affected me.

I did not hear the song. There is no love, no duty, no miracle. Nothing happened. And yet there was sorrow and pain for within a short moment I identified with the body and my peace and joy went down the drain.

Amidst all this, I can still be a witness and I am well aware that JOY is an interval between two pains, meaning - there are more pain in this world than you can imagine. The joy in the interim carry us through the ups and downs of life. Is there no way to avoid the two pains and just have the joy? Who knows. Does it matter? It comes back to what an RV instructor once said - the reason we come back again and again (why we experience 2 pains and joy in between) is because we engaged in melodrama of life. Once we stop participating in the drama, the experience end. Was I engaging? Was I participating? Of course, I am here am I not? But...but...but...

But what? When I do not want it anymore, I will not be here anymore. Obviously, I am getting something from this, else it wouldn't be. The environment is not conducive right now but it is convenient for me. I am waiting for the sale of one building and while waiting, part of it is the melodrama. I just need to continue to hone my skills, use the tool and realize my HIGHEST POTENTIAL.

And so it is, and so it shall be.

I AM VICTORY, VICTORY, VICTORY in practicing EQUANIMITY in ALL situations.