Day 19 - April 25, 2010 - Sunday
"Strive for the happiness, the joy of all others, as earnestly as you strive for your own; strive for the peace of the world, as diligently as you strive for your own. That is true divinity, that is true humanity"
I am trying, really I am. But there are times when I seems to have this delusional belief that I can make a difference and I look around me and this person in front of me that just told me to leave him in his misery because he wanted to enjoy it a little longer, makes me feel that this is the fate of humanity (to wallow in misery) and I might as well accept it as my own and surrender gracefully - it is what it is and nothing can be done about it. Oppps...Sorry, I disagree vehemently.
I wanted to purge the toxins of unhappiness and misery from those around me and yet despite my tenacious efforts to do so, I am being told that I am too much for them because I am too happy and so much at peace when I should wallow in misery and unhappiness like they are.
So, what to do? Stay away. That is exactly what I did today.
A friend finally got the strength to break up with his on-again/off-again gf who'd been abusive for 5 years and he already have another gf on the side and he also realized that it is not working so he broke up with her, too. So, did not want to be alone on a nice sunday and I agreed to keep him company. Since I usually keep up to my name, I really enjoyed the brunch, the walk, even the talk and a good bottle of pomegranate wine. But, all this time he keeps saying he feels unhappy, kinda despondent and of course you can tell that he is miserable. I tried teaching him my happy, happy, joy song and he said not this time. And when I told him to snap out of it and pointed out so many things to be happy about, he said to leave him alone because he wanted to be miserable for a little while longer. That's it.
How can we "Strive for the happiness, the joy of all others, as earnestly as you strive for your own" when the others are not striving for it and does not want to put any effort at all. How can you do it?
How can we "Strive for the peace of the world, as diligently as you strive for your own. That is true divinity, that is true humanity". I am not getting this - how so if you are confronted with opposition here and there? You are striving and striving and the ones you are striving for are not willing. Do we give up? Do we stop being who we are? Do we allow other's action and attitude to dictate our actions?
I am who I am, I cannot be who I am not. I am peace, I am truth, I am love eternally. I am ever pure delight, I am always full and free. Fear and grief will never touch me.
And so it is.
P.S. Its a bit late but I just got this email from the friend I mentioned above:
"Just wanted to say sorry for being such a drag today. I'm feeling better now. I just sometimes get caught up in depression (its in my family genes), and its unfortunately not just a matter of talking myself out of it or singing a song...its actually a chemical imbalance in the brain, and it gets kind of stubborn at times."
My, my. What can I say. As humans who are brainwashed by what we read on the books and what the professionals tell us and what the society dictates - if it is in our family genes - then, it is. If it is a chemical imbalance, then it is. All I know is my own experience. I can talk myself out of it and I can sing a song or flush it in the toilet. AND SO IT IS.
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